End of the Term

I started writing this about a week ago and could never seem to get the correct wording so I am just going to post it as is and let my words speak for themselves.

I can hardly believe that I have made it through the first term of seminary.  It feels like jut yesterday that I was driving across country in anticipation of this next chapter of my life.  The first term has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. There have been times of nervous anticipation, light hearted laughter and downright dreadfulness.  Over the course of this term, my professors have pushed me to accomplish things that I didn't think I was capable of.  In fact, one professor in particular, pushed me to accomplish things even beyond that.  He had a way of getting me to look inward and see what I was capable of producing.  For me, it was a very challenging experience.  It was in those moments of uncertainty that I had my greatest learnings.  Which takes me back to how I ended up here at CDSP.

When I was looking at seminaries and trying to decide where I was meant to be, I always figured that I would be in Sewanee, TN for seminary.  After all I had a relationship with so many people there.  EFM had played an integral part of my discernment process and in past visits, Sewanee was always a thin place, a place where I felt close to God.  A very good friend told me to look at CDSP in Berkeley, CA.  I would be closer to Ryan and he said it was a very good seminary.  So I took a week off from work and decided to visit both Sewanee and CDSP.   I arrived in Sewanee on a Sunday night in anticipation of all the events of Monday.  After all this was my "official" visit which consists of community worship, interviews, class visitations, financial aid talks and a conversation with the Dean.  Having already applied to Sewanee, they had all my files, references, etc.  I walked into my faculty interview and was greeted with, "I'm sorry I've been so busy that I haven't read your file, please tell me abut yourself."   Wow, I was so important to them that they didn't even know who I was.  Then to top it off, during the interview, I was told by the same person, that I would have to choose between visiting my son which required missing a class and my academic career.  After spending 24 hours on campus, I realized that maybe Sewanee wasn't the place I was supposed to call home for the next three years.

I left Sewanee and headed to Berkeley.  Almost as soon as I arrived on campus, I felt welcomed.  Everyone I met, greeted me, made me feel like a part of the community, and made me want to be a part of the their community.  I had not applied to CDSP so when I went to interviews I was concerned about how they would be.  Everyone handled themselves professionally and made me feel valued. When I sat in on classes, the professors ensured that I had the reading materials they were discussing beforehand so I could participate in class, at meals all the students sat together and talked to each other and worship was prayerful and meaningful.   It was a community.  In the end, I left my time at CDSP saying this is where I want to be.

Now looking back at all that i have accomplished since arriving here, I know that CDSP was where I was supposed to be.  This place has stretched me in so many ways.  I have had my eyes opened to populations of people that I would never have come across at other seminaries, and it has expanded my vision to what it truly means to be "Children of God."