Christmas Eve

A few days ago, I wrote about Joe, a 28 yr old kid that is homeless and is a few classes short of receiving his college degree.  After I wrote, Joe left our campus and said he would be fine.  Both Twila and I have been looking around for him to ensure that he was okay.  Unfortunately, we were both unable to find him.  He has been in our prayers as well as our thoughts every day.

Today, I left campus around 4 o'clock in order to get to a family service at 5.  After the service, Twila and I had a Christmas eve dinner at a local japanese restaurant and then we parted ways.  I headed to Mill Valley for the midnight service and she headed back to her field ed parish for their midnight service.

At Mill Valley, the priest preached about silence, specifically how silence can be holy.  He was referring to the words of Silent Night, Holy Night.  He felt we need to learn to live in silence.  Silence can be scary and most people ail do anything they can to fill the void of silence.  Yet as Richard, the priest said, God is silent many times and that we need to be able to live in that silence.  As the words of the song say "Silent Night Holy Night, all is calm, all is bright."

As I reflect upon my discernment so far, I realize how important silence has been.  Some of the most profound times have been in silence.  Tonight was another one of those silent moments.  As I sat in church, the lights went out and the congregation began to sing Silent Night.  I stayed silent and listened.  As I listened, the awe and mystery of Christmas washed over me and I began to cry.  There I was in a church where I only knew 2 people and yet, I was among family, my Christian family.  All celebrating the birth of a baby who would come to save us from ourselves.

That baby brings me back to Joe.  I got home from church and found Joe.  He had returned to school, I presume looking for Twila and I.  Neither of us were there so he did the only thing he could do, he put out his sleeping bag and went to bed.  I didn't want to wake him, but left a note for him telling him I was here and that if he needed anything to call me or e-mail me.  But also I was reminded that as we all prepare to celebrate Christmas with our families, there are some people that will not have people to celebrate with.  For Joe, it doesn't matter that it is Christmas Day, it's just another day.  Well personally, I don't think anyone should have to be alone on Christmas and I am hoping that he will join me for breakfast.

In the meantime, Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas - Not always a time of joy for all

This afternoon I was having a discussion with a very close friend about life.  It seems that both of us had recently finished our semesters and were looking back on what made this semester so hard for us.  Each of us had our own reasons for why it was difficult but it seems that even with all our so called issues, we still have it relatively easy.

This friend began discussing a friend of theirs that asked if they could help locate a homeless man that had just moved to Berkeley.  The man, let's call him Joe, was close to graduating from community college back home when the school kicked him out.  Now Joe wasn't an angel, he said I had done some things in the past, but he was an A student and had a possibility of being the valedictorian of his class.  Pretty impressive huh?  Yet the school asked him to leave, and as a result lost all financial aid he had.  So Joe was now homeless.  For most people, being kicked out of school is bad but they have parents that might accept them and welcome them home.  Unfortunately for Joe, he has no parents.

Joe's parents had their parental rights terminated when he was 6.  He and his 4 siblings were split up and moved into foster care.  Joe got to stay with his younger sister, but they moved from foster home to foster home as a result of inappropriate activities by the foster parents.  (He describes having a knife held to his throat, being punched, etc)  Finally he and his sister tried to run away and move back in with their parents.  As you can imaging, Children and Family Services were quick to remove them once again.  This movement from family to family continued until Joe "aged out" of the system when he turned 18.  He had no where to go and nothing to do so he tried to survive with odd jobs, etc.  Finally he decided to apply to community college and survived for almost 3 semesters.

Well he has now been kicked out and decided to move to Berkeley, half the country away from where he was enrolled in school.  Now why Berkeley, one might ask?  That's a good question as Berkeley doesn't have homeless shelters or even very good services for the homeless but the climate is such that you won't freeze to death at night or get snowed on either.  So Joe is here in Berkeley, deciding what to do next.

He is a smart 28 year old kid that when confronted with an issue runs away, after all he has never been taught anything else.  He had no parents or role models to teach him coping mechanisms.  It seems that society has let Joe down.  He is a kid without opportunity.  My friend offered to help Joe but Joe quickly refused as one thing Joe still owns is his dignity.  That was a powerful reminder for me, while it  is nice to help, we also don't want to take away a person's sense of agency.  Joe doesn't want handouts, he wants freedom and respect.  

So why do I mention this now?  I guess, as I sit here in my warm room, I realize how lucky I am to have a family that loves me and cares about me, a son that is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and a group of incredible friends that when the going gets rough, will circle the wagons and ensure that I survive.  It is something that is easy to take for granted.  But it is something that NONE of us should ever take for granted.  We are all blessed to have family and friends that love and care about us. And while we are celebrating with them this year, let us not forget those that will be alone and on the streets this holiday season, not because of anything they did but rather because of a choice that was made for them many many years ago.